well theres 2+ hours Ill never get back

Last nite I rented Elizabethtown. This could be the most worthless movie of 2005. Do not rent it, or do rent it because I am dying to see if I am the only one who hates it. Maybe its because I really dislike Kirsten Dunst. Or maybe I hated the movie because neither she nor Orlando Bloom could keep an accent going to save their lives. Kirstin had this ridiculos southern accent that was only present for 1/2 of the movie, and Orlandos American accent fell very short. This movie sucked...really sucked. The only thing going for this movie is the soundtrack...it is very good. Think: a movie that nothing happens set to Tom Petty. However a decent soundtrack does not a movie make. Absolutly nothing happens in this movie. I am angry that I wasted my time on it. Im bitter that it was my choice in the movie store. I didn't get any of it, and I probably won't see another Dunst movie as long as I live...she sucks and her teeth freak me out.

Here are Some other things that really piss me off:

The fact that they still play Creed and Sugar Ray on the Radio.
That Gwen Stefani started a solo career.

what pisses you off?

after the weekend i had...

Sunday was the perfect day...woke up...had a late breakfast, watched 2 episodes of 24 and then went to a matinee of Brokeback Mountain. I have always loved you Jake, but I couldn't take my eyes off Heath the whole time.

...what if Jake G, and Heath L. really read my blog....I would die....I would die!

thank you simon, paula, and randy

As long as there are American Idol audition shows...I will be a happier person. You can't write that shit...its too rich.

the funny one: an explanation

I was asked recently why my blog was called The Funny One...so I thought I would clear this up for all 5 of my faithful readers.
There are 3 types of people in this world...pretty people, funny people, and sidekicks. (now this is purely my opinion...if you don't agree stop reading)
Firstly Pretty people....do we really need to explain what a pretty person is??
Now a sidekick might need a little explanation. Sidekicks are great, and what pretty people, and the funny alike thrive on. For funny people sidekicks are a constant laugh track that comes along to bars, and shopping with you. Sidekicks are genuinly good people, who might not always like being the center of attention. But they love to have a good time thus they hang with the Funnies. Every once and a while Sidekicks will have a crazy streak to them. Its usually the Funny people who bring this out about them. Sidekicks generally keep it real, and have very chill personalities. Now Sidekicks of pretty people are a little different. I really don't know much about them, but as a general rule they usually don't like the Funnies.
I consider myself to be in the catagory of funny person...funny people are great to have around. They like being the center of attention, and love to make everyone around them more comfortable. When you are funny people don't want you to have a bad day, or be down because then you aren't as funny. People assume you aren't necessarilly "real"...but when you are the Funny One you keep it as real as possbile with the people worth keeping it real. The Funny one can be pretty too though. But when people tell Funny People they look pretty there sometimes is a suprising tone in there voice...almost like they can't believe it. So this is me...all my life I have been the Funny One, and I like my place just fine. I hope this clears things up for people who were curious....now are you funny, pretty, or a sidekick??...

i heart you

The other day I was thinking about the upcoming holiday Valentines. Valentines is in my top 3 of all holidays...it comes in number 3 right after 4th of July. I hate people who get all cynical about Valentines because they have no significant other to share it with. I know what you are thinking...this is all very easy for me to say because I am at the moment involved with someone. But the people who really know me know that for the greater part of my life, and for too many valentines to count I was single. And those Valentines that I was without man were some of the best I have ever had. I was thinking the other day about the Valentines I spent while single, and one year came to mind in particular. You see as a single girl on valentines I usually tried to get my other single girls together for a night on the town. I had heard that the "legendary" Chip & Dales dancers were coming to Greenville, and I thought this would be the perfect way to celebrate not having men with the girls. Ummmm....first of all the Chip and Dales dancers have never come to Greenville, and I don't know why I assumed they would. Especially because the cover charge was like 5.00. Instead of the Chip & Dales....we got to see the Chip & Dalze. Notice the different spelling. Not only were these men repugnant...but there routine left nothing to be desired. My favorite was the man who did a tribute to America in of course an American flag thong, and then the guy who did a tribute to the movie "Ghost" where he sat at a stool gyrating on a teracotta pot. In short the Chip and Dalze sucked. But the evening was not a total wash. We had a blast sitting in the back making fun of the people who actually thought the men were attractive. And probably the funniest part of the evening didn't even happen at the bar. When we left BJ put all her stuff (cell phone, wallet etc.) on the top of the cab that picked us up. When we got home she relized that she never removed it from the top of the cab, and all her personal belongings were now gone. Some people might see this as more unfortunate than funny, but the fact of the matter was that it happened to her in college pretty frequently.
So anyways...on my last note on Valentines...and I know this is early, but make plans to spend it with the people that can make you laugh the hardest. Have fun, go out with friends...throw a party...just don't sit home hating the pink and red hearts everywhere...the holiday is about love, and we all have that for somebody.

One thing Boys will never understand...

On the eve of my period last night....I lost it.
Me and the Beau had ordered take out. I had literally been thinking about my chicken fingers all day, and the delectible sauce they are served with. So we went and picked up our meal, and broke the most important take-out rule there is...check the bag before you leave the store. In my excitement about dinner I just forgot that step. And when i got home I opened my styrofoam container to find they had given me the wrong f*&%n sauce. Now on a usual night I would have just used something else for sauce, but nope...last night with my period closely approaching...I lost it. If I had been alone, I would have probably screamed, pulled on my hair, and burst into tears, but there were too many people around. I instead stomped my feat and gritted my teeth and did a mute scream to myself. Then when B (obviously seeing how frustrated I was) offered to go get the sauce I screamed at him. Then i proceeded to pout over my meal...I only ate one chicken finger...then later that evening downed the rest of my birthday cake. It was then and only then that I got over the sauce incident. It is amazing how hormones can send you into hysterics over the smallest things. Its also amazing that the people around you still love you and bring you cake when you act like a complete crazy over nothing.

Nice work if you can get it.

When I tell people I work from my house people inevitably jump to the conclusion that I awake late, stay in my pj's till late afternoon, and watch morning and daytime tv all day. well some of that is true (when i am at home i flip on the view sometimes) but for the most part working out of your house has gotten a skewed meaning. but don't get me wrong...working where i live is awesome. and here is a top 10 of why.....

10- I don't have to talk to anyone before my morning coffee

9- My boss never catches me surfing the internet, or checking my e-mail.

8- I don't have to get ready until i want to get ready....i usually wake up and take a shower, and then do my hair. but i really don't have to worry with makeup unless i have a meeting. I mean who would I be getting dolled up for...the FedEx guy is usually the only one I see somedays.

7- I never have to worry about what to wear. No I don't lie around in my Pj's all day...I would feel gross. But in my job (unless I have a meeting) everyday is casual Friday.

6- My internet, phone, and anything related to work is all on my expense account.

5- My commute is nothing.

4- I can do my laundry at work.

3- I don't ever get in trouble for making personal phone calls.

2- I can write a blog at work, and it's almost like I am getting paid to do it.

1-After my morning coffee I can shit without anyone around, or ever having to sneak off to some remote toilet to do so...and this alone could be reason enough to work from home for me.

$34.11

So this morning I went and got my mail, and behold my cell phone bill. Now anyone that has a cell phone bill probably can relate to opening the bill nervously because you never know what it might say. i have opened bill before that have been hundreds of dollars, but today was the first day I had ever opened my bill, and learned that apparently i have friends in Somolia.
My bill was strangly higher than usual. I try to keep phone conversations short and sweet, unless after 9, but as I was scanning my bill i noticed a new column....it read "international calls". and right beside it it read: Somolia. Apparently on Christmas day 2005 at 7:35 I called someone in Somolia. And apparently whoever in Somolia I called we spoke for 11 minutes! Now eleven minutes may not seem like a long conversation. Especially since i had never spoken to this person before...is 11 minutes really enough to get to know a person, or for that matter even break the language barrier? But 11 minutes is a pretty penny in the world of cell phones. That is when you are dialing a 3rd world country. If anyone wanted to know it costs exactly 34.11 to speak to someone in Somolia for 11 minutes. And no you can not use roll over minutes for Somolians. So I called Cingular. I mean one would think that if a past history showed that never once in my life I made a call to Somolia, (much less any international calls to date) they would have to reverse the charge. But of course nothing in life (especially customer service agents) is easy. For some reason the Cingular agent could not understand that I didn't know anyone in Somolia. And her dispute was that if I talked for 11 minutes then it must have been a call I meant to make. Well I could see her point...I mean how many wrong number conversations last for 11 minutes, but I was not backing down. Finally I asked to speak to someone higher than her, and then someone higher than the person higher than the original dumb ass I first spoke with. Eventually Evelyn at Cingular resolved my problem. BUT she did flag my account. If I ever call back disputing another international call made to Somolia Cingular will not credit my account. So if you decide to move to Somolia know that neither of us will likely speak again.

can a phantom really beat a cat?

In the news today Phantom of the Opera has now trumped Cats as the longest running Broadway show. "Now and Forever my ass Cats". This just proves one thing....people love some fucking SPECTACLE.

New Years top 10

There were so many funny things that happened last weekend...but this blog ain't big enough, but here are my top 10 favorite moments....

10: S skiing down 1/2 the mountain then taking off her skis, and walking her happy ass back up the mountain, and enjoying a ciggerette at the top.
9: New Years Eve and dancing...litterally I never dance, but for some reason on New Years Eve I thought I was Janet Jackson.
8: Watching all of my friends bust there asses on the floor at some point in the night...except me and S...we kept both feet firmly planted to the dance floor.
7: Bundleing up 17 friends to go sledding only to get there and find out that the sledding hill was closed.
6: The Man Bowl
5: The Man Down
4: When the guy from Mobile (who looked like Sloth from the Goonies) told MB that he was a jackass.
3: MB hopping out of bed New Years day and running down the hall because he thought he had slept with another girl, only to find out it CO.
2: Stealing the microphone from the DJ and singing every song.
1: The long ass ride home, and having to pull over for those who were hung over.

CHEERS to all!

On Top of the World

My New Years was spent on the tip top of a mountain in WV. Now Virginia might be for lovers, but WV is for crazies...but we were far away from the crazies in Snowshoe WV. There we skied, and drank, and drank some more. I think I was better at the drinking...thank you ECU. But here are some pictures...enjoy, and wherever you were at midnight...I bet you weren't singing Dixie Land delight with a bunch of boys from Mobile.

<----this could be my favorite picture