Heres to the ladies who lunch (in a hat)

How come women don't really wear fabulous hats anymore?? No...Im not talking about baseball caps, or hats for winter. Im talking about wide brimmed sun hats, that have big abnoxious flowers on them. The kind you might wear to a garden tea, or say Oprahs Legends ball brunch. There is something so regal, and feminine about these types of hats. They are only for special occasions, which in turn make them such a special accessory. And nobody I know ever has garden brunches or tea parties, therefore I never get to wear this accessory, and that makes me a little sad.

Today at lunch I saw a group of women who were in that cult...err...club that wears all purple, and red hats. They are called the Red hat ladies or something clever like that. They were all eating and chatting and wearing big hats. They looked cute. As I sat and watched from a far I started thinking...maybe one day Ill be a red hat lady, and then I will get to wear hats. Then I remembered I hate the colors purple and red together, and neither of them look that great on me...so there goes that idea.

In the past few years fashion has taken a turn for the more feminine. I mean ladies like Charlotte York even got women to wear crinoline again. Women are accesorizing more than ever now. So why not big lovely, incredibly feminine hats?

and no i didn't see the horse break his leg

Everyone keeps asking me if I saw Barbosa (the horse that was favored to win the triple crown) break his leg on the first turn at the Preaknes...and no...I didn't see it. The only time I really saw horses were when I was waiting in line and the horses were warming up.

But not being able to see horses didn't make the Preakness bad. In fact there was much more interesting things to look at. In the infield where me and 50, 000 others stood, people were making quite the spectical of themselves. And I don't think any of them were even remotely interested in what was going on on the race-track. On a scale of 1-10 I give the whole event a 7. It had its ups, and its downs. I doubt I will ever go back, or atleast if I do I am sitting in the grand stand. But I am glad I went. It was something Ill never forget...so here for all of you who didn't go here is the top ten best and worst that Preakness had to offer...

Worst:

10. The bus that was taking us to the event broke down, and put us back almost 2 hours to arrive at the event.
9.Once we arrived we had to wait in a line for almost 2 hours.
8. Breaking up a fight between some girl who was with us, but I didn't know, and some really gross guy with a tank top on and extremely hairy arms.
7. Getting hit in the face with a big gulp...yeah I can laugh about it now, but it was annoying.
6. People throwing full beers into the packed crowd, and one hitting A square in the head.
5. Losing the people who we cam with...they had the coolers full of beer, and food.
4. Getting lost by myself, and not knowing where the hell I was.
3.Having my friend fall from atop a cooler, onto me because someone pushed him.
2. The bus breaking down again, but this time on the way home, and while we waited it became obvious to us that our bus driver was lit.
1. Having to get D and A to pull over so this girl could pull the trigger at a gas station.

Now the BEST...I saved it for last...get it?

10. Making friends in line, and them letting me have all the free beer I wanted.
9. finally getting to T, E, and G's spot and them cheering when we arrived.
8. Watching 5 girls beat up a boy
7. B and the shoe...
6. Having great guy friends who would form a barrier around the girls so they could pee.
5. Being with good friends, and pretending we still could party like we were in college.
4. Letting everyone know that "we are the pirates of ECU!"
3. Also letting everyone know that it was a "first down....PIRATES" even though we were at a horse race, and not a football game.
2. C volunteering to walk all the way over to were they were seeling t-shirts, and buy me one, and I could just sit on the cooler.
1. The bus ride home, and that mysterious gray cooler.

So if you haven't been I suggest everyone try it once. Its an experience to say the least.

When Reality TV goes bad

No one probably saw the show I watched last night, and consider yourself lucky. it was the worst display of reality tv I have ever seen.

Some of you are probably not aware (ok all of you prob have no idea) that America is now is search of the "Ultimate Cayote". No not the animal...the slutty girls that dance on the bar in the themed Cayote Ugly bars all over the US. And on CMT (thats Country Music Tele for you who don't know) they are looking for the next great Cayote.

This show falls short in more ways than one. Firstly there is the head Cayote...or she is the manager of all Cayotes or something. She is more like a drill sergeant, and she considers herself the Simon Cowell of the country music scene. She is rather mean to the girls, making most of them cry when they get the boot. That may be the only draw to this show...when the girls get kicked off and start bawling there eyes out because they don't get the job of slut #2 on the bar it is a little funny.

Next these girls are so stupid...its like a really really really bad beauty pageant. They are all wearing underwear and cowboy boots, most of them have bikini tops on, and they girate there bodies around to "pour some sugar on me" They ask them questions like "What does being a cayote mean to you?" and the stock answers are always such b/s one girl actually said last night "my parents always told me that I wouldn't get anywhere unless I used my looks, and great body, so i figured this would be the perfect place for me" Atleast she knows her place. Some of these girls were acting like being the "ultimate cayote" was comprible to being famous. When the reality of it is that as a cayote you are nothing more than a bartender, that dances on the bar.

One girls mother was helping her pack for the audition, and as her mom packed her stuff, the girl threw a hissy, saying that the stuff her mom was packing was not "slutty" enough. If I said that to my mother she would slap my face.

This show is too much. As a person who watches way too much reality tv this was even too much for me. Its scary because the reality of it is that there are really girls out there who act like this, and think that being a bartender, who also dances on the bar is a solid career choice. I hope the intent of this show was NOT to portray these women in a better light, because in so many ways they are only making them look worse.

a rant

Working in corporate America you realize very quickly that it is a mans world. And I am not suprised by this fact...I handle my own just fine thank you. However I am suprised at how some of these men act in their everyday business., and how incredibly inappropriate they can be at times.

Yesterday morning I was on a sales call. I was doing my thing giving my best sales pitch, and really hitting it off with the client. As I was leaving the man walked me out, and said as we were leaving..."I think me and you should run off to the beach today...its a nice day, and my wife would never know!" I just smiled and said..."well...unfortunatly i left my swimsuit at home." I mean yes the man had sarcasm in his voice, and no i don't think he really wanted to get in the car and go to the beach, however i still think it was a bit innapropriate. and it made me uncomfortable.

Today I was calling on a potential client (this time on the phone) and he was calling me sugar, and sweetie, and sweetheart. I really don't mind these terms...i really think it is more of a southern thing, and pretty harmless. Although as the conversation progressed he commented that I had a "sexy" voice. I really don't think its appropriate in a business situation that the word "sexy" should ever come up...

am i blowing things out of proportion?

my first horse race

This weekend I will be headed to Preakness. If you don't know Preakness is the second race in the triple crown...if you have no idea what the triple crown is its the second race after the Kentucky Derby...if you don't know what the Kentucky Derby get out of that black hole you have been living in.

So Im going to Preakness, and I couldn't be more excited. It is one of the biggest social events on the east coast...second only to Nascar, and I would assume the clientel would be a little more up my alley.

When you think of horse races big hats, and mint julips might come to mind, however i wont be wearing a hat, and my drink of choice will be Miller. I will be one of the assholes that only spent 40 dollars on there ticket to be in the infield. No seats, but you do get to bring your own cooler of beer, and snacks! We start the day at 8am...and apparently you go all day till about 8 pm. This will be a true test to see if I still have any of the drinking skills i aquired in my 5 years at ECU. No I won't be betting on any horses, but I am willing to bet that this girl will be hungover for the week to follow the race.

A Happy Ending

Exactly 2 months later after the whole ordeal with B in the hospital he graduated college...it was a great weekend!!

ewww

I just called a man back who left me a message on my voicemail about a billboard he was interested in. The message was in-audible, but I did manage to get his name, and his phone number. When I called him I asked him how he was and he replied..."im not doing too good" That kind of threw me off because usually people just respond "fine how are you?..." or something to that effect. Anyways..I could barely understand the man on the phone. So I asked him what his business was called and I swear the man said "ABC Foreskin" I asked him again what it was called, and again it sounded just like "ABC foreskin" Now I am hoping and praying that I have that name wrong, but I am also wracking my brain to think of other words that sound like foreskin, and I am at a loss...
So I guess we will see because tommorow I have an appointment, at ABC foreskin...or whatever it is really called. My plan is this...if I drive up and the sign outside reads ABC Foreskin than I will kindly put my car in reverse and peel out of the parking lot as fast as my civic will take me. If someone has really named there business that then I am not mature enough to have them as a client.